a “happier” 2013 {book review part 2}

Posted on 2013/01/09 by daisyeyes

Yesterday I shared part one of my book review of Gretchen Rubin’s Happier at Home. Today I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes and some changes the book has spurred on in me.

At the back of the book, Rubin lists what she calls her “eight splendid truths”.

I love the idea of having a list of personal or family guidelines or truths. The family set is one that my husband and I are planning on establishing this year. We actually already have some that guide the behaviors, expectations and consequences in our house, but to be honest we aren’t consistent nor on the same page with them. Hopefully that will change this year.
But until I read this book, I really had not thought about writing down any sort of guidelines for my life. Obviously there are things that frame my life, namely my relationship with Jesus, but I’ve never really written them down.

Ultimately the main thing that I took from this book was pretty obvious…be me. Let our family be our family.
This came to light when I was looking through facebook status updates on New Year’s Day. Post after post I saw pictures of families celebrating with their kids at midnight and my first thought was “wow, we are so lame. We all just went to bed pretty much as normal.” But then, after arriving home from a friend’s house after ten at night and dealing with the ick that comes from that I realized…staying up waaaaaaaaaay past our regularish bedtime is not good for our family. My kids start to lose it (which in turns makes us lose it) after about ten and that is something we just have to know and realize and be ok with. It’s that old green eye of envy and comparison that makes us all think we need to conform our families or ourselves to something that we really are not.

Rubin states “in essence, happiness is being you – not trying to fit a mold or a ‘should’ happiness” and then she quotes Thomas Merton
“Finally I’m coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am.“

One of my favorite quotes was near the end of the book. It was a segment from one of the Little House books

The hardest thing for me in life is to live in the now. I’m either fussing about the past, worried about the future or ignoring the now. God graced me with a daughter who totally lives in the now and she wants you to be in it with her. She is like Laura, laying in her bed listening to all around her and taking it all in. Too often I let this part of her drive me crazy instead of letting that part of her engage me and bring me back to the center.

Rubin states, “think ~ plan forward but don’t live there. Live in the now. Thankful (not wistful) for the past, excited and ready for the future but present in the now.” That is where I want to be and where I need to be.

After all that, here are a few of my goals for this year and really my life. (many of these are “stolen” from Rubin herself)

1. be me. and be ok with that. Confidence is my new word.
2. Give warm greetings and farewells to my family and any of those I greet.
3. For 15 minutes a day tackle one project that I keep putting off (to begin with I’m editing photos from 2012 and making our yearly photobook)
4. The wicked iPhone: first I turned off all email alerts on the iPhone and iPad. Something about that little “ding” made me feel important and made everything else seem unimportant. Next I am working on my habit of picking up my phone at every stop light. Is my life really so important that something is going to happen from one stop light to the next and I’ll miss it. Hardly.
5. Underreact to a problem. If you know me…enough said.
6. Treat people the way I want them to treat me. I preach this to my children all the time, but um, to myself?
7. Be cheerful. Give gold stars. Express gratitude. Sound pleased and engaged.
8. Give up on the idea that “I will be happier ~ more content ~ joyful when such and such happens” Live and be grateful for now.

a “happier” 2013 {book review part 1}

Posted on 2013/01/08 by daisyeyes

I’m trying to narrow down my goals for this year with home life, blogging, sewing, etsy and everything else in my life. I’m really trying hard not to have this crazy long list, but rather up to 3 goals for different areas…and in some places maybe only one.

One of my few goals for this space is to be more consistent about doing book reviews. I read all sorts of different books and I can be a pretty voracious reader. The problem is I don’t give myself time to digest what I’m reading either while I’m reading or even afterwards. Goodreads has been a good place for me to record the books I’ve read, but I needed to encourage myself to do something more than just list them. So, one thing you can look forward to in 2013 is hopefully some good honest book reviews. I can’t promise any kind of regularity, so if you are interested in following along this might be the perfect time to becoming a regular subscriber to this little spot (just click over there on the right or just happily add me to your reader).

Enough of that.

One book I finished right towards the end of the year was Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin. The title and cover intrigued me so I grabbed it up at the library, only to find out this is her second book about happiness. Her first book was the Happiness Project which you don’t really need to have read before to follow along in this one (at least I didn’t).

Rubin pretty much lives her life by personal commandments that she has set for herself and is absolutely driven by the writers William Morris and Samuel Johnson. If you are on Pinterest, I’m sure you have seen this little illustration floating around with this great William Morris quote:

Source: lisacongdon.com via aimee on Pinterest

And in the book she quotes Samuel Johnson many times, but this was one of my favorites:
“To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition the end to which every enterprise and labour tends.”

To be fair to her, for all of you grumbling out there with the word “happy” I really think after reading this book she means “contentment”. At least, as I processed through her book that is the word that I kept saying in my head. I long for contentment at home, in my work, in my relationships etc and so much of that contentment (or lack of) stems from my issues…not the issues of those around me. As she states in the book happiness {contentment} is realizing how happy I am and how much I have to be happy for. Another way to think about this is gratefulness. So much, so, so much of our bah humbugness comes from just our lack of opening our eyes to the things around us we should be grateful for. In that comes happiness ~ contentment ~ joy.

In the book, she goes month by month through a year and chooses one area of her life to focus on and then makes a few goals for it. Some examples are: marriage, neighbors, family etc. She goes through month by month and clarifies her goals and then writes about the results. This was the part I loved…her honesty. In one example she tried acupuncture. It was something that she had wanted to do for a while and it fit into her month on basically getting healthier. She tried it, realized it didn’t really work for her and then stopped. And she was ok with it. I’ll write more on this tomorrow, but she just accepted what she needed to accept and. moved. on. That is SO not me! But so where I want to be.

While there were parts of this book and her philosophy that don’t really mesh with mine, there were many things I could take from this book. I think it’s a great one to pick up and use her definitions and her goals to frame questions for yourself. It was an easy read and fun to read at times. She is very whitty and honestly her struggles relate so much to mine in so many ways (oh…I am so selfish!).

So as you think about setting goals and framing your year, I heartily recommend this book.

Interested in more? Tune in tomorrow for my favorite quotes and some of my changes and goals for this year.

a book review {soul talk}

Posted on 2012/06/04 by daisyeyes

A book review over here today…

a book review {the flight of gemma hardy}

Posted on 2012/05/27 by daisyeyes

At long last, a book review! I’m a pretty voracious reader most of the time and when I get a stack of books, I go through them pretty quickly and don’t even stop to ponder the one I just finished.

That said, I loved this book. It’s the first book I’ve read in a while that 1. I couldn’t put down, 2. I was so depressed when it was over, not because it was depressing, but because I was sad to say goodbye to the characters and 3. I just had to share it!

I had no idea until I read the reviews on goodreads that this was supposed to be a modern day version of Jane Eyre. Having never read Jane Eyre (I know, gasp) I never caught any sort of similarities. I just loved the story.

The premise is that Gemma is orphaned as a young child on the island of Iceland. Her Scottish uncle comes and brings her to his home which ends up being sort of a Cinderella story. Her cousins are horrible, her aunt is worse and then her beloved uncle dies. After that, she is pretty much another house worker and not a part of the family. She receives a scholarship to a boarding school as a working girl and her story goes on from there. Ultimately the story is about a young girl finding her way, persevering through life throughout goodness and hardness and about pursuit.

Most of the other reviewers who didn’t care for this book are ones that loved Jane Eyre and thought no one could replace the original. I loved the writing style of Margot Livesey and just her storytelling. She has some other novels too that I can’t wait to get my hands on.

fantastic friday {04.20.2012}

Posted on 2012/04/20 by daisyeyes

On Fridays I recap some fantastic finds from around the world wide web. I’m feeling kinda cruddy today, so this will be a short and sweet version.

Happy Weekend!

great FABRIC: I posted about the Flea Market Fancy line by Denyse Schmidt being reworked and re-released and Fabricworm has put all her bundles on sale. Now you can get your hands on a stack of fat quarters for less than most places right now!

to whet your APPETITE: We had this Crock Pot Chicken Taco Chili last night for dinner and it was awesome. I actually used a cup of dried black beans and a cup of dried kidney beans in place of the cans and it worked out just fine.

be NATURAL and NEAT (as in organized): This thread and bobbin organizer is amazing. This might be on my birthday wish list for next year.

a TUTORIAL to do: I’m slowly ticking off the things I want to sew for the shop list and this is next on my list: some hand embroidered headband wraps

on AIMEE’s to do list (that’s me by the way): I’m working on a big embroidery project for my son’s retiring teacher. If you missed yesterday’s Thursday Threads post, you can click above and read all about it.

something to SEW: I’ve been tossing around buying the Family Reunion dress pattern by Oliver + S and this version of what you can do with it makes me want to get it asap!

to TRIM my house with: My kid’s have pretty much outgrown the sandbox years, but this backyard play area and this awesome play garden would be perfect for them

INSPIRATIONAL: This is a great list of books to read for girls. We are actually reading Pippi Longstocking as a family right now and loving it.

CUTE: Laundry stains and I don’t mix. I usually give them to my mother and thank goodness she lives close. She is like the stain wizard. I need to get some of these labels to put in my clothes in honor of her.

fantastic friday {04.13.2012}

Posted on 2012/04/13 by daisyeyes

It’s Friday the 13th!!! AHHH! Hopefully Jason won’t make an appearance in my bushes today.

On Fridays I recap some fantastic finds from around the world wide web.

Happy Weekend!

great FABRIC: I have quite a fascination with Japanese fabric and all sorts of zakka There are a couple awesome shops I’ve found and love that specialize in Japanese fun. One is an old standbye, Superbuzzy. They’ve been around for a while and time has brought more and more fun things into their little spot. Another one I’ve recently found on etsy called Japan Lovely Crafts. They also have a great variety of fabric, books and gobs of other things.

to whet your APPETITE: My last hold out on processed food items with msg (gasp!) is yellow rice. My kids love it and we love it on our quesidillas etc. I’ve tried to make some from scratch in the past only to be super disappointed. I stumbled upon this recipe last night and the reviews are all super. We’ll see if this one is the winner.

be NATURAL and NEAT (as in organized): Bringing the natural indoors…I love this little succulent garden. I’ve got a couple of spots in my dining room where it would fit perfectly. I just have to figure out where to get a dish like that!

a TUTORIAL to do: I’ve been needing to finally make some bags for my kiddos, one for wrestling practice and the other for ballet (I’ll let you figure out who is who!) and while I’ve long thought I would just do a simple drawstring bag, I came across this tutorial from sew mama sew. It’s a one strap bag using basically fat quarters. I love it.

on AIMEE’s to do list (that’s me by the way): New marketing and designs! I’m so excited I came across this new shop called charmmay on etsy and I’m giving them a try. They are using the flower/daisy that I’ve been using, but spicing it up and designing a whole suite of items for me (new blog banner, new blog buttons, new etsy banner, business cards…the whole she-bang). Keep and eye out in the next few weeks for the new design to show up!

something to SEW: Keeping with the Japanese theme this week…here is a post that links to a handful of free Japanese sewing patterns.

to TRIM my house with: I love this little gnome house and I know my kids would love to make some to hide around our front and side yard beds.

INSPIRATIONAL: I was sitting across from my son at lunch yesterday (and a handful of crazy, out of control, wild and silly boys) wondering what to talk about. I wish I would have had this list of conversation starters with me. It might have helped cut down on all the nutty “boy” talk.

CUTE: I found these books at the library a few months ago by Elsa Beskow and we fell in love with them (well I fell in love with them, the kids liked them). I saw this on Pinterest last night and was so excited. It is a whole post full of ideas to use with these books. I tell you, it’s things like this that make me sort of wish (mind you I said sort of) we were homeschooling again and we had time to just do fun things like this. Alas, I’ll file it away for our school breaks or long weekends.

clutches

Posted on 2011/11/21 by daisyeyes

A stack of clutches made from Amy Karol’s great book, Bend the Rules Sewing.

These are $10 each and make a perfect little gift for any special person in your life. Tuck a little gift card or special ornament inside and you have a complete present…wrapping and all!

too much cuteness

Posted on 2011/03/22 by daisyeyes

As if I need anything else to add to my sewing to-do list. But, I just saw this book online!

Oh. my. sweet. goodness.

This book looks amazing. I mean anything with a red riding hood cape on it has to be.

But why wouldn’t it be? It is written by the people who make Oliver + S!

Praying for My Children

Posted on 2010/08/04 by daisyeyes

Acknowledge that God’s hand
was formed on your child in the way he or she was formed before birth, according to God’s good plan.
Admit any areas you resent in the way God put your child together.
Accept God’s design for your child. Thank God for making your child the way he is.
Affirm God’s purpose in creating your child for His glory.
Ally yourself with God in His plans for your child’s life.

The goal of parenting is not for us to decide what we want our children to become and then ruthlessly teach, train, squeeze, badger and cajole them into that mold. Instead, we must recognize that God has already designed them…Our job is to see our children as God does. Like a sculptor, we must try to see the final form straining to break out of the uncut stone.

~from A Mother’s Heart by Jean Fleming

If there is one thing that God has been continually teaching me through my children, it is that they are who they are. While there is a place for discipline, there is a part of their nature that God has created in them. I struggle greatly with loving them as they are and not trying to form them into who I want them to be. Praying God’s plan for them. Not crushing their spirit, but encouraging the gifts and talents they do have. God is blessing me daily with the privileged to be home again, to be a daily part of their lives and in giving me such a beautiful vision of who He has created them to be.

peacemaking

Posted on 2010/06/28 by daisyeyes

The latest book I’m reading is called Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande. It was one of the 5 books I bought that were recommended by Ann at A Holy Experience (and this woman amazes me so I’ll read pretty much anything she mentions!). So far it’s been a good mix of reminders of how to deal with conflict between people and also some good Biblical background and other examples that I really hadn’t thought about before. Today I read a paragraph that specifically challenged me.

Here’s the background: Yesterday I sent my husband to Walmart to get just a few things. I wrote a pretty specific list so he wouldn’t have to guess what to get. The one thing I really needed was a big tub of vanilla yogurt. I wrote vanilla yogurt on there, showed him the old container so he would have a picture reference etc. So, when he got home I was so frustrated when he brought back plain yogurt. I don’t share this with you to harp on my husband, but to share what a reminder this was today when I read about forgiveness in this book. The next 30 minutes between my husband and I were tense…over yogurt! It was just so clear how easy it is to hold a grudge and to not offer forgiveness over anything – no matter how tiny! And if we are hard pressed to forgive over yogurt – how much more over something substantial!

Sande writes:

That, (our struggle to forgive) is the legacy Adam and Eve left us with in the Garden of Eden. But when we remember our position before God, when we adopt an attitude of continual repentance and thankfulness for our salvation, God will help us, through the work of His Spirit, to improve our ability to forgive others. When we come daily before our Lord an repent of our sins, seeking God’s forgiveness and the Holy Spirit’s strength to improve our lives, our forgiveness of others will grow as well; it will become more sincere and more lasting the more we seek God’s grace and guidance.

It’s funny how sometimes you can read something that is so basic and it just hits you between the eyes! I get so frustrated with myself in situations like yesterday because I’m so caught up in disappointment and in essence my sin. I try and try to make myself forgive and move on, but that’s the problem: I can’t make myself. It’s a matter of my heart and to be honest I’m not coming before my God daily and offering up the million ways I need his forgiveness…I’m offering up the million ways He needs to fix or do or whatever for me.

So, today I made a challenge for myself to start a list of things that I’m thankful for and/or things I’m forgiving or need forgiveness from in my personal journal. It’s humbling to sit down for 5 minutes and start to think about forgiveness and thankfulness instead of myself. But let me tell you what a difference it makes in my perspective when those little feet toddle in and interrupt and need breakfast.

Here’s to the next 30 days of keeping track of the ways I’ve been forgiven, need forgiveness and have been blessed. Want to join me?